An Angel In The Sky
by Gemma.A.S
Summary: Death is one of lifes biggest tests ...


Okay so i got this idea from footballers wives .. When ambers baby had pased away and she broke down at his grave.  
>This is also from personal expereince as my baby brother sadly passed away at 4 weeks old and my dad blamed his death for the reason why he left us all ..<p>

I hope you enjoy reading this.

And thankyou for taking your time to read it.

Lots of love Gemma xx

**An angel in the sky ...**

Have you ever had the feeling that your so close to someone yet their so far away?  
>Almost like they are with you, but you can't see them?<p>

Loosing someone to death is one of the worst feelings in the world, this is when you know, you'll never see them again.

Never see their smile ..

Never hear them laugh ...  
>Their voice ...<p>

When a child is so cruely taken away by the dangerous arms of death, it makes you think ...

What's the point?  
>Why is the world so cruel?<p>

It messes with your head, it makes you think about how things could have been, how the could have been if they hadn't been taken away, if they had managed to escape the arms of death ...

Would they have liked school?  
>What would they look like when they were older?<br>Would they go to college?  
>Would they want children?<br>What would their favourite colour be?

These unanswered questions were what were racing around Sahira Shahs head, because that's what they were ... Unanswered Questions ... nobody could ever answer them, nobody could bring back her beautiful little boy ... **Thomas** ... She remembered how she had spent weeks deciding on the name, thinking .. wondering what he'd look like ...  
>When he was finally born, he was an image of perfection ... beautiful chocolate brown eyes .. with a hint of green, thick black hair, like his mummys ... he looked exactly like Indy .. his older brother ..<p>

She remembered his first breath, the screaming sound he made when he was finally born was like music to her ears, her beautiful little boy was here, he was here and safe.  
>But it wasn't meant to be ..<br>God had other ideas ..

Sahira could only wish for one more cuddle with her little angel, just one more minute was all she asked for, that wasn't a lot .. right?

Sahira sat, at the foot of her baby boys grave, surrounded by flowers .. all the colours of the rainbow, scattered all over where her baby lay, she looked up at the headstone .. where three soft blue teddys were, leaned against the stone which almost summed up her baby, was this it? Three sentences? Her baby had three sentences to some up his life, such a small person had made such a huge impact on so many lifes ...  
>It read on the headstone<p>

**Thomas Shah**  
><strong>14th October 2011 to 13th March 2012<strong>  
><strong>Taken too soon<strong>  
><strong>Loved Son, Brother and Nephew.<strong>

She softly whispered "_It's okay baby, mummy will keep you safe, I love you angel, mummy's here"_

She needed someone, someone to tell her it was all okay, to tell her she would some how find a way, a way to move on, to tell her he was safe, and it wasn't her fault. Not like Rafi, who had blamed it all on her, who had told her it was her fault, for leaving for work, for not being there, he had abondoned her with her only son Indy, telling her he couldn't cope anymore.

Couldn't cope?  
>They had both lost a son, not just him.<br>This wasn't about him.

She had to feel near to him, she needed to touch him one more time  
>Just one more time<br>That's okay ... right?

She started moving the flowers to one side and softly started moving the mud to a side, trying, trying to be close to her baby, she needed one more cuddle, she needed to see his little angelic face, just one last time, kiss his little face and tell him that mummys still loves him, and that she'll never forget him ...

...

Greg had gone to the Cemetery, he knew she was there, he had checked everywhere else, searching for her, wanting to comfort her, hold her while she cried, while she grieved.

His slow steps turned into a run as he saw her, infront of thomas's grave with a huge pile of dirt next to her ..

_"Sahira, Sahira stop!"_ He screamed as he got closer

He grabbed her by the waist pulling her back and spinning her around to face him.

_"No, no greg, i need to hold him, please, just one last time, please, dont take my baby away" _She said almost breathless due to the adrenalin bursting through her vains.

He held his arms tighter around her waist to stop her from returning to the grave.

"_ Sahira, listen to me, he's gone, he's not coming back, don't do this to yourself, he's gone ..."_

She dropped to the floor, placing her head against the damp grass

_"I ... i .. want .. my ... baby ... back_" She screamed with all the energy she had left in her body.

Greg sat himself beside her and pulled her close to him, her head rested on his shoulder, as she screamed, screamed at how it was all her fault, how she should have been there, he didn't say anything, she needed to get it out, she neede to grieve, to grieve properly for her baby.

When she had finally stopped crying, because had physically no energy or strength left in her, he began to whisper

"_It wasn't your fault, he was sick sahira, he was sick, we couldn't save him, it wasn't your fault"_

"_He was my baby greg, **MY** baby, i should have known he was sick, i should have known he needed me, but i didn't, what am i gonna do now ey? How am i gonna cope? He's gone, im never going to see him again, dont you get it? ill never see him again, Rafi has left, im on my own, it's just me and indy now"_ She said quietly

"_You've got me ... i'll help you, we'll get through this together, Me, you and indy"_

She carefully got up, followed by greg, and they put his grave back to it's normal state, together, like he had promised her.

Normal? This is never going to be normal, it will never be normal again, but she has to find a way, a way to make things better, a way to move on.

A man who walks out on his wife and children is a coward. A complete coward, to walk out on a child is bad enough but to then go on and blame the tragic death of his child on the reason why he has left is beyond sick.

Trying to get over a death is one of the most hardest things in life, some people learn how to manage it, some people learn how to go on with everyday like it's a normal day, even though in the backs of their minds it's still there, the unanswered questions, which will remain unanswered for the rest of their lives.

For the people who can't get over it, the people who go from day to day thinking, wondering, hoping that things could have been different .. Stay Strong, life is full of mistakes, tragedies and misfortune, but if you don't experience that, you'll never understand how to be grateful for what you have.

**_Your the brightest star in the sky ...  
>Dedicated to Gianluca ... I love you baby xxxx<em>**

Please Review xxx


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